This will bring a smile to your face!

["Yanna Jorni" <goldk9s@cox.net>]

1. Dogs are never permitted in the house.  The dog stays
   outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for
   very good reason, the dog house.

2. Okay, the dog can enter the house but only for short
    visits or if his own house is under renovation.

3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent
     basis provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to
    a rookie dog owner.

4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free
   and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.

5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one     deal
     in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever the hell he
     pleases.

6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.

7. Okay, the dog can get up on the old furniture but not
     the new furniture.

8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it
    looks like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole
    damn works and buy new furniture on which the dog will
    most definitely not be allowed.

9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.

10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed only.
 
11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not
     allowed under the covers.

12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with
      his head on the pillow.
 
13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, under the
     covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores, he's
     got to leave the room.

14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares
      in your bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the
      couch in the TV room, where you're now sleeping.  That's
      just not fair.
 
15. The dog never gets listed on the census
     questionnaire as "primary resident," even if it's true.