It's interesting to hear what men have to say about women in Ultimate. Not many women are responding, and that may be evidence of the same deference that women show to men on the field. It also reminds me civil rights discussions where the majority states of the minority, "heck, there are plenty of them where I (work, live, eat, play, etc.) and I've never heard one them complain." There's obviously no ill-will in any of the discussion in this newsgroup, and I wouldn't discourage anyone from investigating the question of how to make Ultimate more comfortable for any group. But I wouldn't minimize the difficulties that face women when they take up coed Ultimate, either.

The relationship between men and women in competitive situations is extremely complex, and I hesitate to address it, because there is much room for misunderstanding, and every person has his or her own viewpoint. And I hate generalities because they seem to demean the individual. Still, there are some patterns that seem worthy of mention, and I think that men who seek to understand how to involve women in this sport should understand that women need a great deal of assurance that their participation is valued by the group.

Generally, reducing competitiveness and increasing fun is a good way to encourage beginning players, especially women. I'd recommend finding ways to avoid having the score matter, possibly even by not counting it. The senior players need to emphasize the joy of the game. Players who are critical, who care about every point, or who stretch the meaning of "non-contact" can ruin it for beginning women.

There's got to be either a great group attitude that encourages everyone to play, or there's got to be an n-woman rule, or there's got to be a rule that rotates everyone in for equal playing time. Women will not insist on equal playing time on their own. They will almost always cooperate without comment if men want to hog the field or the disc. They will insist to everyone that this is fine, it's fair, it doesn't bother them, they only want what is good for the team, that they really didn't feel like playing much, anyway. At all levels of skill, women will seek cooperative behavior rather than confrontational. I don't happen to recommend this attitude, but as an observer I am convinced that women are approximately ten times more likely than men to act this way, even when they are deeply angry. Because Ultimate relies so heavily on shared group attitudes, I think it is especially important for those men who care to be aware that aggressive, assertive behavior by the men will not be challenged by the women, but it may well convince them that the group is not one they wish to continue with.

I also think that women do best at recruiting other women, because it's the easiest way to convince women that the group really is an appropriate place for women to compete. And not just for that superstar handler who is so nice. So the men should make sure they are showing women that Ultimate really is fun, and the women should take up the task of spreading the gospel. Have a women's coordinator, make sure there is a woman to represent the league in planning decisions, like whether or not there is a 2-woman rule. Ultimate easily becomes an obsession, but women need to be given the chance to discover this without enduring too much aggressive or exclusive field behavior.